skipped this ooopss! my introduction

Hello again,
I totally forgot to introduce myself, i was just so bothered by V-day.
My name is Miranda, i tend to go by Roo or Likok for short. i am 22 years old and at the moment i'm stuck in CT. working at Bath & Body Works. Truth is i came out here when i was 21 with intentions of going back home, home is actually in Montana, in a couple of months. things didn't work out and it was always a failed attempt of going back. I'm a native american, salish and blackfeet. it's hard being indian now days. we always face them stereo types of not graduating, suicide, alcoholism, we face the never leaving the reservations thing, loosing our languages, gang violence, the drug use, the list keeps going and going and going. i can proudly say that i have over came alot things, even suicide attempts.

You see, i'm looked at as a really strong women. inside i'm very torn up and hurt. i suffer from depression. the chemical in balance actually rules my life. no matter how hard i try i'm usually over the top happy or way under the radar of sadness. i try to level myself out and no matter how hard i try it never works unless i'm on my medicine. on top of my depression i suffer from anxiety and PTSD. Scary right? it's just that one thing i live with. i'm not trying to get people to feel sorry for me, i'm trying to let people know that sometimes the happiest person is the saddest.

I'm hoping on when i go back to Montana I'll enroll back in school. I'm liberal arts major at the moment, i have just recently decided to that I'm going to go into elementary education program so i can start teaching young people my language. i know your probably wondering what that is, my language is Salish. it's dying and for being as young as i am I've found my passion in life and i have found the one true thing that i know I'll do great in  and make a difference in life. that's all i have ever wanted to do. make a difference in life or a change. i remember in one of my college papers i wrote about how i wanted to be arrested. i didn't really state clearly why, the teacher seen me at the casino during Christmas break and asked me why i wrote that. i laughed and said i didn't explain? i want to be arrested for protest in something i believe in. i want to be arrested for making a difference. so i try to smile at every person i see, i open the door for elderly people, i say what i think.

on a lot of levels the fight i have is caused by the things i have been through and the things i have seen. i might be 22 but i can't have a function able relationship because I'm so use to being hurt. i use sex as an icebreaker because i was raped at 17. i'm use to going with out stuff because i lived poor. i don't ask for help because my mom kicked me out and same with my dad. i don't know what it's like to have a normal family. i know i know there is no such thing as a normal family, mine is no where near perfect or functional.

recap:
i'm miranda, i like to be called roo or likok.
i work at bath and body works at the moment, but i plan on becoming on being a salish teacher. i seem normal on the outside but i'm really broken on inside. i want to make a difference in the world. i fight stereo types all day long because i'm native american and i love to have a great time. i'm miranda roo!